Conversation 1

“Mom, do you know how to do Algebra?”

“Yes… I think I do.”

“Algebra 1?!”

Hmmm… first week of school Algebra 1 … “Yes. I know Algebra 1”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes… I’m pretty sure I can do that.”

…pause….

“I think I’ll wait for Dad.”

“Just show me what you need!” I indignantly reply.

She shows me the problems. “State whether each conjecture is true. If not, give a counterexample.” (Ohhh… not looking good so far. What in the world is a “conjecture”?! … Well, I can use context to figure it out.) then – “Division of whole numbers is associative”

… pause…

“Yes. I think it’s probably a good idea to ask your dad.” I mean seriously. Who remembers associative property stuff, and how am I supposed to remember properties while playing Candy Land for the zillionth time?! I’ll stick to colored spaces and cupcake cards.

 

Conversation 2

between two siblings, the older (OS) of which wants to watch a slightly intense Avatar show while younger sibling (YS) whines for Blues Clues with a mom acting as referee.

OS: “Blue’s Clues is over. We have to watch Avatar… It’s not scary.”

Mom: “Change the channel.”

YS: “BLUE’S CLUES!!!”

OS: “Jack.. Look how cool that dragon is.”

YS: “BLUE’S CLUES!!!”

OS: “…and look how funny they are. This is soooo funny.”

Mom: “CHANGE THE CHANNEL!”

OS griping at YS: “FINE. You always gets what you want.” then nyahhs, “Blue’s Clues – Such a BABY SHOW.”

YS: “I’m NOT a baby!!”

OS: “baby!”

Mom: “What did you say?!!!”

OS: “What?!! … You ALWAYS blame me for what I say!!!”

He almost stopped himself mid-sentence as he realized the absurdity of his whining.

Mom: “Yes. I do always blame you for what YOU say.”

The kid couldn’t help but laugh at his own ridiculousness.

 

Conversation 3

said to the child who is now allowed to wear modest make-up to school.

“Wow. You’re wearing eye-shadow.”

“I’m not wearing eye-shadow!” child denyingly retorts.

“Well…what’s the blue gray stuff on your eye lids?”

“Ughhhh… You’re SO MEAN!!! sob, sob, sob – drama tears – sob.

“Are you crying?”

“YES! You just… Ughhh!”

“I just asked about your eye make-up.” … pause…  “What did you hear me say?”

“What you said … that I’m ugly and a bad person!”

huh?!  Note to self: Be aware that words said tend to be different than words heard when conversing with a teen girl.

It might be a long year. Thanks for walking, okay crawling it with me.

-Kay