Last week, I flew home from Virginia and a little over 24-hour trip. If I can make a day-trip, I do it. But sometimes I have to spend the night somewhere. And what a beautiful spot to spend the night – Virginia Beach, Virginia. I called Jon from my hotel room that looked over a stunning garden and sea of towering trees adorned in the beauty of Autumn leaves.
“We need to vacation here.” I told him, hopeful that we might actually take a vacation this summer. “It’s beautiful. I haven’t seen it, but there’s a beach. And so much to do. And Williamsburg is close. We could hit D.C. …”
“I’ve never been there.”
“Me neither. But we would love it. The kids would love it.”
The kids.
They’re the reason why I will do my best to day trip rather than overnight.
Life goes so fast; I don’t want to miss a thing. Even the uncomfortable things.
Boarding my flight back to Dallas, I pass a woman sitting in the first row. I had seen her in the airport waiting for the flight. In fact, I might have pointed her toward the spot where her 3-year-old had scurried when she wasn’t looking. He made the slip about the moment his mother stood up from feeding his stroller-strapped sister to take her well-deserved Starbucks from a nice man who grabbed it for her.
“They’re so cute,” I say to the mom as I make my way on board and pass her seat. She was wrangling the 18-month-old who was destined to sit in the mom’s non-existent lap. The busy brother rummaged through the plane’s reading material in the seat next to her.
She smiled up at me, “Thanks.”
“How old are they?”
Glancing down at her daughter she said, “Well, this one is a little over one. Her brother 3. And this one,” she pointed at her belly, “well, this one will be a bit closer in age.”
I smiled back at her. And commiserated briefly, “Mine were all 22 months apart, except for my last.” And we wished each other well.
I’m almost instantly transported to days not so long ago when I boarded a plane with my brood of 4 six and under. I balanced a baby, a stroller and a ginormous carry-on loaded with snacks, games, toys – anything to distract them for a couple hours. I remember the stress and anxiety. Hoping beyond all hope that the baby in my arms would sleep. Not only for the comfort of all those around us, but also to free my arms for others who would most certainly need attention.
Those days were far from easy. The physical exhaustion alone was enough to make me feel for that pregnant mom, wrangling her own brood, undoubtedly praying for peace and a sleeping child.
Sometimes I wanted to wish my way out of that demanding season. I wondered if she did. I wanted to tell her to eat up every moment. But I knew better. Then I wondered if people want to tell me the same thing in my different stage. One where I again find myself tempted to wish away.
We can board a flight now without a care in the world. My kids pack their own bags. They can sit on a row together, without me. Our stress no longer presents itself on airplane trips. It can be found on different frontiers. Anxious moments, hope for peace now come in the form of college applications, new drivers behind the wheel, school dances. They make a mom tense. I so desperately want it to go well for us and all those around. Its hard. Sometimes, I just want to get through it.
But as I thought about that mom and what I stopped myself from saying, I say to myself, “Lean into the tense. It seems hard in the moment, but don’t just live through it. Experience it. Even stressful moments have beauty to offer.”
I took my seat at the back of the plane and reminded myself to remember.
The next morning, life continued as it had while I was gone. I made my way to the kitchen, stopping at the younger boys’ room to be sure they were awake. I snuck my hand under the top bunk covers to rub the shoulder of my still sleeping 11-year-old. He stirred. And he realized it was me.
“I’m so glad you’re home, Mom,” he groggily said.
Out of a sleep stupor. The first thing he said. I almost started bawling.
“Aww… Me, too buddy. I’m so glad to be home.”
“I don’t like it when you’re not here.”
I feel tears stinging my eyes. Really … could there be anything sweeter?
This is when I tell myself. Be there – with them. In the moment. Not running from the tension or wishing my way out of a season.
Just living in the present.
Resting in provision.
Embracing the fleeting moments.
The applications go far beyond me as a mother. They touch every challenging and joy-filled situation that life presents. Here’s to embracing rather than enduring.
Thanks for walking the road with me.
-Kay
Ahhh…. thanks for helping me get my week off to a great start! So very, very true! And, I smile back very fondly on the days of traveling solo with 3 kids under 7! :)
Kay,
What beautiful stories. Thank you for sharing them with us.
What a great story. I remember taking a plane trip with my 3 & 4 year olds, their first since infancy. My younger was quite an interesting looking boy, stocky with bright blue eyes, a happy smile, and almost white hair that stuck straight up like the wild kids in comic strips. Andrew however, was (and still is at 20) the sweetest and most kind young man. He knew I was dealing with his brother who struggled with confinement and new situations (not a behavioral problem but a how his brain connects things issue) and, when he had to go to the restroom, he said, “Mom, I’ll be OK on my own.”. He walked back to the stalls after asking the stewardess politely to point the way. He asked another to close the door for him and stand outside since he couldn’t reach the lock inside. He excused himself for bumping elbows on the way back to our seat while he beamed all the way at his accomplishment. When he reached our seat, he took his brother’s hand and walked him back for his restroom break. The stewardess watching all of this complimented me but I deferred back to my son as he’s always been this way, caring and helpful. She nicknamed him Bear as he kind of looked like one back then and for the protection he clearly gave me on that trip. He is a college soccer player today, mentoring kids in academics and sports, and, though he is tall, slim, and his hair is nicely groomed now, we all still call him Bear…and he still looks after his Mom and brother just as he did then. Thanks for the memory!
Greetings from Williamsburg, VA…..I was led to this post by Jenifer at Lots of Scotts. I hope your family will get the opportunity to visit our beautiful small city…The place where our democracy was born. As a mom of two adults I can relate to this post so well….you blink and they are grown. Happy Thanksgiving!
Wow, so true. I confess there were moments when they were toddlers 4 kids 4 and under that I wanted to flee. There are teenaged moments now, but you are right..”lean in”. It does go fast. My oldest is almost 16, almost driving, almost applying for college, almost gone. I have trouble sometimes being in the moment, so thank you for the reminder.
Beautifully said, Kay. Thank you for so much for your blog and sharing your life. Helps me so much with child-rearing perception.
Blessings to you and your family this Thanksgiving!
Kay, thanks for the reminder to stay present. I’m sure when my two were little, they’re 19 months apart, I wished for a time when things would be a little easier. Now that they are 13 and almost 12 I find myself dealing with different stresses and often wishing the moment would end and peace would come. I think I’ll do a better job from now on. ;-)