For today’s Table Talk, I thought I’d share a couple notes I’ve gotten. One from a friend who is single, sans kids of her own but aunt to a few. She totally inspired me, so I asked if she would let me share so she can inspire you, too. … I’ve also included a crazy great story from a MOAT in Florida. Another dose of inspiration to solidify the fact that kids can do so much more than they (or we… if we can just keep our hands off) think.
Thanks for the stories … and thanks for walking the road with me.
Hi Kay – I just watched your segment on Glenn Beck and was blown away. Your message is so timely and I could not think of a better messenger. God led you down the right path. You spoke with compassion and conviction, but without judgment.
Please make your voice heard, because America needs a kick in the pants. I watched my sister and her husband (now ex) raise their children and have seen the consequences of over and under parenting. My former brother-in-law used to rewrite my nephew’s papers. After High School, my nephew told me that he stopped trying because he knew his father would just rewrite them and his would never be good enough. My brother-in-law over-coached his son and had such high expectations for sports, that the kid finally gave up on sports too. After High School he joined the military instead of going to college. My niece experienced a more destructive path. She never picked up her room or helped with chores. My sister treated her more as a friend than a daughter and let her do whatever she wanted. She never graduated from HS and ended up in rehab. She is now living in a beach community in Mexico selling timeshares and subsidized by her dad, who owns one of the time-shares. She has drinking problems and makes no money. She has no future.
Obviously, my sister is an extreme case because she was in a very bad marriage too. One thing that I see happening with even some of my friends is that when they get a divorce or are in a bad marriage, their children become their friends and counselors. The relationship changes dramatically from parent to companion. It’s tough as a single parent….I can’t imagine. I can barely take care of myself without kids! But, I observe others and see this unhealthy dynamic increasing. Kids should be allowed to be kids. Teenagers should be allowed to be teenagers. They are not adults. They need guidance. They need boundaries. They want it!
She goes on to say keep on keepin’ on as well as something else we all need to hear: “ I’m sure there are times you get discouraged and feel overwhelmed. I’m sure you think you’re inadequate to be a voice that can help change our culture. I just wanted to encourage you to continue. You’re not perfect…your family is not perfect and there will be bumps in the road.”
The bumps have felt more like craters, maybe even sink holes this week. But what do you do? Stop? I don’t think so.Our kids are in play here. And her message, though bearing my name, is to ALL of us. This isn’t about me. This is about all of us who had no clue that our well-intentioned stepping in and helping, sometimes saving was actually hurting. Just like the parents in this story – you can rest assured their motives when it came to the kids were pure – we want to love our kids. Making life easy doesn’t appear to communicate such love.
Now from a mom in Florida who when presented a task, put it directly on the plate to whom it was given. And you’ll never believe what happened!
…But you’ll have to tune in tomorrow to find out. Adding it to this post might put you into a word overload coma. I mean we are in summer… right? We need to relax and recover from all the word barrages throughout the school year.
So … to be continued.
Thanks for walking the road with me.