Table Talk - A Filter on His Heart by Rebecca Powell Ingram

We are so blessed to have Rebecca Ingram Powell guest post for us today. She has a terrific blog that you need to check out when you have a minute. I think you will really enjoy perusing through her words of wisdom.

Today she’s filling us in on a topic so many MOATs face. I hope you find it helpful.

Thanks Rebecca!!

… and thanks for walking the road with me.

-Kay

A Filter on His Heart: Protecting Your Son from Pornography

She was waiting to speak to me alone. I watched her sitting on the back row as I spoke to mothers of sons at a homeschool convention. Dressed conservatively and wearing a head covering, she didn’t look like the other moms there. I wondered if she was lingering because she was offended by something I said during my “moms only” presentation. In these workshops, I speak openly—bluntly—about pornography and other temptations that confront our sons. I would never choose to intentionally offend, but I cannot mince words, either. Pornography interest and addiction is at epidemic proportions, and moms who aren’t “in the know” need to be. I wasn’t sure what was on this dear lady’s mind when the other moms trickled out and we were finally able to talk. My heart caught in my throat as she began.

“I want you to share my story,” she said.Like so many others I have heard over the years, it was about a precious son—a protected life—and an unfortunate encounter with a seductive screen and the evil monster of pornography.Her 13-year-old son was left home alone when she and her husband had to make an urgent trip to the emergency room with the younger sibling. Boredom plus an empty house equaled time enough to google questions provoked by a growing boy’s normal curiosity. Unfortunately, one click led to another, and within a short amount of time, this homeschooled middle schooler viewed soft porn, straight porn, and then homosexual porn before his mom received an alert from her Internet filter company–two weeks later. (So much for Internet filters.)I wish I didn’t hear these stories, but I do. And it’s scary! It’s absolutely horrifying! As Christian moms, the last thing we want to think is that our sons would become addicted to pornography. But some do. And while we never want to think that it could be our son, we have to understand that it could be. It will serve us better to recognize that it could happen to our son, than to think that it couldn’t, or that it won’t. Being aware that it is a very real possibility will keep us on our guard. Check out these practical tips.

Keep lingerie magazines, including sales fliers from your local department store, out of sight.
Filter what you are watching. You may love watching the choreography on “Dancing with the Stars,” but for your son, it’s all jiggling flesh and steamy sexual images.
Take a closer look at teen shows on “kid-friendly” channels. Many young actresses are dressed to draw attention to every curve. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but he has.
Be Internet savvy. Make sure there are filters installed on your computer, but keep in mind that no filter can do it all. Know how to check your Internet surfing history, and check it regularly. Help your son avoid the temptation of the Internet and other media by keeping computers and TV’s out of his bedroom.

As moms, we may be tempted to leave this part of raising our sons up to their fathers. However, when we understand the challenges our sons face, it will go a long way in helping them overcome the multiple temptations they confront every day. We also need to understand the only trustworthy “filter” is the Holy Spirit working in a growing young man’s heart. As a boy grows up, the feelings and thoughts he is suddenly experiencing may come as a surprise, and even a shock (to both of you). Let your son know he is normal, because he is! It is vital that our boys understand all men struggle with the issue of pornography, but there is a God who is bigger than any temptation they face. Agree to hold him accountable for his entertainment choices, and let your son know you are willing to be held accountable for yours. Teach him to resist temptation the way Jesus did, through prayer and Bible study. Using Philippians 4:8 as a guide, help your son practice replacing fleshly thoughts with godly thoughts of things above, making him aware of the desperate need for installing a filter on his heart.

Rebecca Ingram Powell is a pastor’s wife, a homeschooling mom, a nationally-known speaker, and the author of Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose along with several Bible studies for middle schoolers. Connect online with Rebecca at her blog, MomSeriously.com, and learn more about protecting your child’s purity when you click on the tab Porn and Purity.

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