“Mom.” I heard my son’s voice, but didn’t instantly react. “Mom?” he gently asked, “Did you forget to sign me up?” With his name absent on the season finale Champs Swim Meet heat sheet, I didn’t blame him for wondering. I’ve forgotten before. But this time, the omission wasn’t my fault or our coach’s. On another day, this might have fired my ire – the inconvenience, the disappointment and the unfairness of it all. But not today. Life’s events of late – with all their death, heartache, strife, emotions– weighed heavier than a heat sheet omission. Ready to chalk it up to a good life-lesson (sometimes things don’t work out despite our best-laid plans), I reached for my keys to go home. But before I could start to console our way out the door, the meet coordinator swooped in and took care of the oversight.
A Facebook SOS went out this week from my friend Missy (mom of 4 tween/teens): I need some help setting up guidelines and restrictions with screens during the summer with my 4 kids. (Screens=tv, computer, phone, video games, etc). Help! It’s especially an issue with all my boys. Any ideas welcome. (I am not super administrative–so I don’t want something that needs me to keep track of too much)! Apparently, she’s not alone. According to Common Sense Media, tweens log 4 1/2 hours of screen time a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year. For teens, it’s even higher: nearly seven hours a day. And that doesn’t include time spent using devices for school or in school. The response to Missy’s SOS was significant. Because, during the school year it’s one thing, but now its SUMMER! When I was
With May coming to an end and summer shouting a big HELLO :), I thought I’d share a few of my favs from commencement, award ceremonies (I’m not kidding) and EOY carpool contemplation. Sherly Sandberg’s Cal Berkeley Address: Today I will try to tell you what I learned in death. Ms. Sandberg shared for the first time in public what she has learned from the death of her husband last year. She encouraged the young grads that one can thrive in success and in adversity. She included research from psychologist Marty Seligman (from whom we’ve learned a little bit about tackling entitlement via his research on learned helplessness vs. earned success.) “Martin Seligman found that there are three P’s—personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence—that are critical to how we bounce back from hardship.
Leaving a graduation ceremony and subsequent reception last night, I glanced at the clock, “Wow, that lasted a long time.” “I’m sorry,” said my daughter riding shotgun. “Why are you sorry?” I nonchalantly asked. Then quickly realizing that I was entering the strange teen-zone where an unassuming question can instantly transform a regular moment into an emotionally-charged field of landmines. “WAIT,” I divert and quickly add before she can answer my why question, “what did you think I said.” “Well, you said that I talked too long.” “What?” “Yeah, that I’m the reason it ran late.” Huh? “I was only commenting on how long it lasted. I wasn’t saying anything about you.” “Well, that’s what I heard.” Welcome to a common field of landmines — the space between what is said and what