Just for the fun of it … and because the little guy sneaks in under the radar as we deal with our older kid issues, here’s some dirt on Jack … or should I say “Enigma” because he really is a joy almost 100% of the time. I feel for the woman that marries this kid and will fully own-up to the rotten monster we’ve created. Isn’t he cute, though?!!
You know you’re raising a hoarder when…
You enter your guest bath only to be surprised by said person sheepishly staring at you with his arms full of butter! Why butter? And how did he get the frig open?!
You look down and the kid is loaded with none other than a armful of blank dvd’s as we get in the car … again, how did he get those?! They’re on a top shelf by the computer.
The kid brings you the missing bars of soap from under your sink, a votive candle full of quarters and plastic cups, the perfect holder for bouncy balls.
You turn around at the Dollar Tree and see your three-year-old struggling to maneuver his cart (1st question – Where did he get that thing?! … 2nd – Where is his mother?!) full of questionable snack mix.
You look down as you’re getting in the car to see the kid holding your older son’s Latin vocabulary cards that we searched for high and low… only to be counted as lost and made again.
You open the central vac connection to find a stash of coins and … you guessed it… feminine hygiene products.
No need to say that I could go on and on, like: You know you’re raising a hoarder when… your oldest son gets into bed and asks, “Why are my sheets wet?! … Oh, they’re not wet, it’s a bunch of coins.” Let me just point out that Teen Take-Out sleeps on a top bunk! How did Enigma maneuver his way up the ladder with fists full of coins… and why stuff the stash in his brother’s sheets?
Yes, there’s no need to go on. We’ll just count this as an open blog post, available for future updates on the hoarder’s activities. Is there an FHA (Future Hoarders of America)? A competition at the State Fair? Are there scholarships available for those who have carefully honed their skills in this area? If so, we’re there!